Anxiety.

My lungs feel with air. I feel my heart beating faster. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad anxiety. I hate the feeling of this. My stomach hurts, cause I haven't eaten. I've been so overwhelmed. I see you everywhere. Anxiety takes over like a ton of bricks. How do I make this go away, when you were my medication for anxiety. Now it's just gotten worse. You've gone away. So I'll write and write, till my brain stops running. My gears are so rustic though. Now I'm frustrated, do you know what anxiety feel like when your frustrated? He showed me things to piss me off. He expected me to smile and be happy about it. To think a year ago, we were in this spot, so happy. We were so much in love. And now I watch you watch another pretty girl as though it was me. I sit with anxiety and wonder why I was so in love with you. 

Bricks.

I feel like a ton of bricks are hitting my head. My head is throbbing. This thoughts won't stop. I can't make them either. It's 2:00 am. I'm laying in bed with a brick on my chest, my breathing is shallow. And that's alright. Because my head stopped and my heart started. 

Robots

I'm programmed to feel, 

Absolutely nothing. 

I search for a meaning of words 

To make the knowledge in my head bigger. Of what is love. 

When I seared for words I found you. 

Maybe you were programmed to find me. 

And I can't blame you if you think I'm love but darling we are just robots. 

We feel nothing at all. 

Tired.

People ask how are you?

Most common answer: good, just tired.

When teens have to drag themselves out of bed to go to

this place called hell.

Not wanting to wake up because you would

have a better time asleep.

And its really sad,

When waking up is a

reverse nightmare.

Like waking up from a nightmare is

a relief

but now

waking up is a nightmare.

we can't make go away.

#different.

Different.

Dear Different.

Suppose that we didn't end like we did.

Suppose we ended up actually loving each other in a different way.

Yet I'm sitting here thinking to myself how messed up this way is.

How Different, could it have been.

Now I'm sitting half crazy.

Knowing your thinking about me too.
When the only difference I need in my life,
is Not you.

Colors.

The colors change as we grow.

Colors start to fade from our eyes into black and white.

The childhood of our being, slowly crawls out.

Our pleading hearts turn into throbbing hearts.

No longer seeing the colors that made our minds think.

Yet our minds are the color gray.

Our tongues are red.

Our lungs blue.

And are hearts are bruised.

Why Hats.

Hats.

What is so Special.

They sit on our heads to make us look better. or in Reality to hide hat hair.